Feeling Overwhelmed by Negativity? Try This Simple 1:1 Strategy

Hans Rosling writes about our "dramatic instincts" in Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World – and Why Things Are Better Than You Think, and I've been reflecting a lot on the "negativity instinct," which is another way of describing the negativity bias. Rosling is not the first person to point out the human tendency to focus on the negative. Experts say we are 7x more sensitive to negative stimuli than positive. Rosling explains that even though a growth curve may be positive overall, we only notice the negative dips, not accounting for the reality that we are in better shape at the slumps than when we started. We don’t recognize progress over time.

The "Negativity Instinct" illustrated at gapminder.org

As a dean of students, I often feel like a bad news filter. I can attest to feeling the 7:1 bias. Sometimes, a single unfortunate incident will cast a shadow over the whole world. Even though I am aware of the negativity instinct, I'm not immune to its effect. I don't know anyone who is. However, like Rosling, I do believe we can do something about it.

In reality, there are not 7 bad things for every 1 good. It just isn't so. Take a tray of chocolate chip cookies for example. In this desirable scenario, grab a cookie, and the odds heavily favor an enjoyable experience. There are plenty of positives out there, and I believe we can transform our daily experience with a single strategy: go for 1:1.

Someone recently called me the "dean of discipline." An honest mistake that gave me a good chuckle. Nonetheless, I don't accept the title. If all I did was discipline, I would go mad. As Rosling suggests, I expect bad news (and a large part of keeping your sanity is reframing the "bad" as a learning opportunity and realizing, as Rosling says, that things can be “both better and bad” at the same time). I also seek out good news, and I do my best to live in the realm of 1:1. When I find the good (in my case, good behavior), I make an effort to follow up with the appropriate students, and sometimes their families, to share my appreciation for their helpful actions.

Expressing thanks doesn't take long. On average, a fist bump and a compliment adds up to a 10-second procedure. I’ve tried to create a system that makes positive reinforcement a part of the job. For me, it’s a simple spreadsheet where I log good conduct and then note when I have shared feedback with a student and/or the family. I dedicate time to deliver praise, and since bad news is reported more frequently than the good, I have a reminder pinned at the top of my daily tasks: “look for the good.”

This is pretty simple stuff. Sure, a mathematician (or anyone who is better with numbers than me) may see that I haven’t quite got the ratio business right, but, in all seriousness, it’s the effort that counts. Notice I said “go for 1:1.” It changes the way you feel about your work, and it fosters a culture of belonging. With a low cost and a high reward, I haven’t experienced much downside with the 1:1 strategy. And if you think the world is doomed so why even try, here are 32 global improvements worth celebrating.