Pride has lots of definitions.
My favorite: a group of lions forming a social unit.
The most commonly understood: a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
I’ll argue that, particularly when it comes to leadership, we should avoid pride—and substitute it with respect. For example:
We take pride in our culture. → We respect our culture.
Have some pride. → Respect what you do.
Our team members feel a sense of pride. → Each individual respects the team.
I am so proud of you. → I respect the heck out of you.
Why respect before pride? Simple.
Pride is taken. Respect is given.
I won’t be a total zealot and suggest that pride must be canceled. It’s not all bad. When someone we admire says, “I’m so proud of you,” that generally feels pretty awesome. But we should investigate the application of the word, for it may be a signal that some ego checking is necessary.
Principled leaders are givers.
I recently participated in the Pan-Mass Challenge. It was an incredible experience, not because I was proud of my ability to ride a bicycle, but because of the respect I felt for the compassion, generosity, joy, gratitude, all of the goodness that overflowed throughout the weekend (and during the entire fundraising process). Between the volunteers, the riders, and the supporters, I was in awe of the giving spirit. Everyone had a shared reason for being there. It was all for the benefit of others. Thousands of people working together—all as one—much like a pride of lions, much like a family.
That’s respect. That’s leadership. That’s the kind of experience that ignites a fire in your belly, electrifies every nerve in your body, triggers a gear you didn’t know was there, and elevates you, with a rush of sensation that feels like a life force pulling you forward, making you grin at the realization that you are finally, wholly present.
Sign me up.
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